Dead Finger club

My husband's new excuse for anything is to blame his "dead" finger. You remember the one he managed to slice open with a pocket knife. Apparently since his finger does not have the same bending abilities as is once had he is now and forever going to be physically (and mentally) impaired.

Take out the trash?
He'll just point to his finger and say "Sorry wife, my dead finger doesn't allow me to have the same grip as before. I may drop the garbage and make a mess."

Write a report for work?
He'll just point to his finger and say "Sorry boss, my typing abilities have been compromised by my dead finger, I'll need some extra time to work on that project."

Get pulled over for speeding?
He'll just point to his finger and say "Sorry officer, my dead finger must have distracted me. That's why I was going so fast."

It's not working on me, nor anyone else.

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