Saturday, September 30, 2006

Thanks for caring

I am irritated with credit card companies. I do not want to pay for credit card insurance or what ever they call it to ensure that if I were to lose my job my bills will be paid, blah, blah, blah. Last weekend we were super busy with housework and were called several times by various companies. The same sort of service being sold. What was it an official sell some insurance to morons day? Anyhow. By the third call I was irritated. Usually the only calls we get on weekends are from family.

The man on the line was rather nice, at first, they always are at first. He gave his speech in boring detail.

Credit Card Man: Hi, this is credit card man from Big name credit card company, and I'd like to tell you about this credit card protection service. Are you Mrs. Soinso?
Me: I am she.
Credit Card Man: Good. We offer......

Here he continues in a lengthy description and boring detail about this pathetic service that I will never want.

Me: Rolling my eyes trying to butt in with little result. I decide to wait patiently for him to finish reading his script.

Credit Card Man: Now all I need is to confirm an address.

I think: Ahhh. Yes! The game part. This is where I get to have a bit of fun before getting rid of this bloke.

Me: What address?

Credit Card Man: Your address, the one listed on your credit card statement.

Me: Oh. I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

Credit Card Man: Pardon?

Me: No, I mean no, I can't confirm that.

Credit Card Man: Ma'am this is a very important service that will protect you and your loved ones.

Me: From what?

Credit Card Man: Job loss, disasters, financial burden. Blah, blah, blah. (here he repeats scripted lines about the fire and brimstone coverage part of the service.)

Me: What!? Are you firing me?

Credit Card Man: Excuse me? Umm. No. It protects you from job loss....

Me: Will this protect me from the collapse of the US government?

Credit Card Man: No. Ma'am. It's not that kind of service. It just pertains to your credit card. This company cares about you and will offer this protection at this great (insert %number) rate.

Me: Wow. That's nice that Big name credit card company cares about me that's sweet.

Credit Card Man: But you may need it, if something were to go wrong, like losing a job.

Me: Oh, yeah that would be bad. Except that if I lost my job I doubt that my being unable to pay my bills would be my biggest worry. I may be a little more concerned with, oh, maybe eating. I don't see how this service would be a benefit to me.

Credit Card Man: Think of your family. What if you were to die? Who would pay your bills.

Me: Yeah. Being dead, that's awful. Somehow I doubt I'd worry about much in that state. But really, this service is a gamble.

Credit Card Man: This service is (here he repeats scripted part)

Me: It's still a gamble. I think I'd rather take that $5/month and put into a Vegas fund and take my chances at a casino. Now that way I'd at least have some fun, and still be out the money. By choosing to pay for this service you are trying to sell me I'd miss out on the Vegas fun part.

Credit Card Man: dumbfounded and not saying anything

Me: I'm going to decline your offer.

Once again he tries to sell to me this service.

Me: Please remove my name from your calling list. You no longer have permission to call me and sell any products offered by this company.

Credit Card Man: Yes ma'am, I have recorded your information in the database. It should take a few weeks to be finalized.

Me: Thanks. Bye now.

Credit Card Man: Bye.

At this point my husband walks into the room He says "I don't know why you talk to those people".

I say "Why not? I'm just making them better at their job right? Think of the confusion I put him through, he may not stammer so much with the next person like me. Besides it's fun."

My husband replies "You are a nutty woman."

No comments :