Monday, January 15, 2007

Save me

I learned over the past weekend why selling your home is hell on earth.

1. They will come. Unannounced and with lots of people. And you will be elbow deep in housework and the kids will be half dressed and the husband will be gaming in the basement office.

2. They will criticize your home for stupid reasons such as: you have a fireplace in the living room and a finished basement.

3. You must put about 50% of your stuff in storage because everyone has way too much stuff and all that stuff makes a home look crowded and no one likes to buy stuff filled homes.

4. People will complain that there isn't enough stuff in the house to judge its size better.

5. You cannot actually live in your home. It has to be clean all the time because see #1. And you will HATE cleaning, with a passion.

6. You can't cook things you want to eat because the one time you happen to have curry, broccoli or fish for supper people will come by and your house will smell. See #5.

7. They will come. One after another all day on the weekends, and always on rainy gloomy ones when all you want to do is stay home read and bake pies. Or watch football.

8. People will offer $5.00 for your house when you actually paid way more than that when you bought it like 5 years ago.

9. They will make your cat go nuts. This process will force your cat to pull its hair out and be all crazy-worried that some stranger will come in and tramp through her territory.

10. This process will take too long for you to remain chipper and excited about moving.

11. By the time you sell your home the seasons will change and you'll have to get your warm clothes out of the back of the storage place. You know, under all that other stuff like the extra toys, because you'd actually need the toys more than clothes and besides you woulda moved by now.

No comments :