Friday, November 16, 2007

Special edition: Lessons of Mexico

That week in Mexico I have learned that.....

Rules?! We don't need no stinkin' rules. We are in Mexico.

To drive like a native means drive like hell and hope for the best. Closing your eyes helps.

You must take Pepto every day to protect you from Mexico. Even then you'll get Montezuma's Revenge.

Seat belts are sort of required. Really when you have 10 people in a minivan who needs seat belts?

If you have boobs and can walk upright you will be cat called. Accept it. Embrace it. You are the local show. Think about the possibility of making money off of this.

Sea kayaking is fun and tiring. Make sure you bring along your raft master sister to pretty much do all the work for you. Because you're on vacation and loafing it is the way to go.

Traffic laws are never followed, and are there any to begin with?

Going to the beach to relax will not happen. There will be 100s of people trying to sell you crap. They hope that the drunker you become the better chance they have to break you down. They will be wrong. Because we can drink that much and still say 'no'.

At the shops you will always get the Gringo price no matter how much Spanish you can speak.

Horseback riding on the beach at sunset is worth the trouble of an ornery horse.

The men are pretty forward. If you are a woman expect to be subject to propositions. Having a husband that is on average a foot taller than the general population often helps. But not always. Wedding bands do nothing here. Nor small children.

Deep sea fishing always results in barfing. Don't fight it. Let it all go, man.

Sitting on the roof with a cuppa watching the sun rise is wonderful every time.

It takes 30 minutes to check in and get through security at the airport in Mexico. That in the US will be about 2 hours if you are lucky.

Despite all the literature you will not be able to take your folding, tiny (less than 2"), blunt scissors onto the plane. Yet you can take a 3 inch nail file and nail clippers without worry. And they won't even notice those cigars.

Once you return home you'll want to go back.

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