Caucus nightmare

Last night Keith had a horrible nightmare about the Iowa caucus. I will try to do this justice but understand that it is still early and well since I didn't take notes this is straight from memory. I might have laughed too much and missed some of the details but you'll get enough for a decent laugh.

Somehow Keith was selected to be the man to help out at the Iowa Caucus. In his dream this year's caucus was going to be different so they opted to randomly pick some guy to help out with the selection process. The selection process involved two things water and coconuts. You know this has got to be good when it involves politics, coconuts and water.

Two species of coconuts were used, a hairier coconut for the Republican candidates and smoother coconut for the Democratic candidates. On each coconut the name, in pencil, of the candidate was written by Keith. There was one coconut per candidate per party. Once the coconuts were prepared and ready they were thrown into the flooded city streets whereby Keith dove into the rushing waters to capture the winners. Think the rubber ducky race at the carnival.

Keith was overwhelmed by many things, the crowds chanting and booing him as he struggled in the current, his bad handwriting and choice of using pencil later to learn he couldn't read the names since the water mostly washed off the names, his inability to know the difference between the Republican and Democratic coconut species and his bad selections.

Classic quote: "At first I grabbed 4 Republican coconuts and 2 Democrats. And that was all wrong! I threw everything back and I had to jump back into the water and swim to catch up with the front runner coconuts. I was so tired and so confused. Have you ever seen the difference between these coconuts?!"

The result he picked 2 lesser known and 1 front runner candidates. I don't know who is what or what is which but that was the result.


Helen said…
Actually, I think that is how they pick candidates here in Virginia. Except they use kiwi fruits instead of coconuts, and you have to choose between the yellow fruit and the green one for Democrats and Republicans. Of course, you can't tell the yellow fruit from the green fruit because the color is hidden beneath that prickly outer skin. Makes it tricky.
Yvonne said…
Yes! That's exactly how they do it, makes so much sense now.

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