Friday, March 07, 2008

Lessons

This week I have learned that....

When you are 5 and out of clean socks it is perfectly acceptable to find any two of the same sort of sock and pair it up, no matter the color, and wear them to school. With pink Maryjane shoes and a dress.

Dirt. It will call kids to its side from all reaches of the neighborhood.

My cat will gorge herself not unlike a dog and lick her bowl clean across the kitchen floor.

When you order pizza from the car on the way home from snowshoeing all day in WV hoping to get pizza from that to die for place near your house only to discover it is not that place (because dummy you, you forgot its name) and some where different that happens to be 20 minutes out of your way it will be an experience. You will order 1 small cheese, 1 large "works" and a large Greek salad and pay $37.00 in cash for it. However you will not get that order. Even when you tell the guy "No we only ordered 2 pizzas and a salad" the big guy will insist that you ordered 3 since duh your ticket says that this is your order. You will be given Tina's order of 1 large feta, caramelized onions and mushroom pizza, 1 small pepperoni, 1 small Margarita and a large Greek salad for a total of $67.00 worth of food. You will not (be smart enough to look inside the box because you are so tired and hungry you just want to get home asap) realize this until you get home and see Tina's ticket taped to the bottom of the salad. You will just eat that food and deal with it. Tina will of course be pretty mad. But you don't know her and after that second piece of pizza it is very funny.

I love my kitty.

Creepy wholesale meat sellers will come by during the day and try to sell me so much meat that I will tell them I am vegetarian to get them to go away. Who buys meat from a guy driving a beat up old truck with a chest freezer bungee corded in the back? Really? Who does that? Because I won't do that. Not ever.

At the book fair kids will have no concept of money. They will pick up the $25.00 bug hut and hand you $2.50. When you tell the kid "You do not have enough money for this item" the kid will look at you in disbelief. Grudgingly the child will take back the item and bring another item costing several dollars more than they have. This process will repeat itself for 30 minutes with this kid and then be repeated about 100 times more by other kids. They will all end up buying a $0.35 pencil.

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