Sunday, May 08, 2011

Thoughts of Motherhood

Ten years ago I was celebrating my first Mother's Day with a child in my arms. A cheerful 7 month old Leah was a charmer from the start. Full of smiles and energy she has never lost that dazzling personality. Two years later I was in the hospital delivering my second child. A small quiet sleepy baby, Olivia was full of surprises. And what a pistol she has become. Olivia brings the wild energy to our days. Now eight years later I have a third child, Adelynn nearly eight months old and so aware of her family.Always ready for a snuggle and so willing to greet you with absolute glee she has become a fantastic reminder of the pleasure of being loved.

Often I am asked: Does it get easier? Motherhood is not easy. We have a tremendous vocation that takes every last bit of our energy and love to do. We give endlessly so that our children can know the strength and security of love. Easier is not a word I would use to describe motherhood. Easier is not a way to capture the individual needs each child has. Easier is a word to describe making a cake with a KitchenAid mixer. Easier is how you describe plowing a field with a tractor. Easier is sewing a dress with a machine rather by hand.

I prefer to use a different word to describe how I feel about motherhood:

Comfortable. 

I am more comfortable being a mother. I no longer fret over the tiny things. Not that I don't worry, because that, that is something a mother will NEVER stop doing, I just worry less intensely. I am comfortable with my heart. Trusting my heart. Knowing that after 10 years into this gig I'm on to what works for this family, my family. We as mothers need to feel comfortable with our mothering. Each year we learn more about our children and most importantly ourselves. You learn that even when are more tired than you have ever felt in your entire life you can still find the energy to wildly cheer on your child at a weekend long soccer tournament. When all you want to do (and need to do) is go to bed early you choose to sit up late talking books with your 10 year old. The night you hope for a few hours of sleep in a row your baby is wide awake. Rather than be grumpy you decide to enjoy this middle of the night play date taking pleasure in those sweet baby giggles. These things as well as several others continue to fill my days. I am comfortable enough with my mothering to know that those crazy moments are short lived. I have to remind myself to savor these moments. All of them. Before long I will wish them back as I watch my girls wave good-bye as they too become mothers learning how to be comfortable with motherhood.

No comments :