Toddlers will.....

Hide your eyeglasses in the strangest places.

Stuff socks into the kitchen drawers so that when you go to pull out some foil you have a handful of socks.

Use a black sharpie marker to color all over the back of your La-z-Boy sofa. (This was a while ago but still breaks my heart thinking about it)

Get into your makeup. Simply and magnificently spreading it all over the bathroom walls and floor.

Pour a bottle of water all over the couch because it "was thirsty" and then needed a shower.

Use an entire container of baby wipes to clean various things around the house. (Actually that was mostly helpful.)

Test the limits of a sippy cup. Evidence of its failures are all over the wall. Orange juice stains can get higher than you could ever imagine.

Find a hammer. Enough said.

Get stuck inside a building block wagon. Good thing it has wheels so that you can haul that trapped kid to a better location for extraction.

Pee all over your floors. And if you're lucky you will catch them before the poo falls on the carpet.

Squirt toothpaste all over the bathroom floor. Amazingly toothpaste cleans your floors and leaves behind a fresh minty scent.

Hide in the cabinet with the plastic containers. Also this will be another way to be trapped in an unusual location.

Dump out your crammed to capacity paper recycling bag so that the bag can be used as hat-tunic.

Stuff your cat under a laundry basket and poke a stick through the holes laughing hysterically as the cat cries in fear.

Use dry erase markers to color all over her sisters' bedroom walls.

Find the stash of chocolate in her sister's room and proceed to bust into it with the eagerness of a troop of raccoons.

Enjoy hiding the contents of your purse. Mommy loves to play guess where her debit card could be.

Climb on top of the table to get a better look at the birds outside. And mostly forget that the table is not ground level nearly walking right off the edge.

 Decide it's time to play games and pour out all your game board pieces into the toilet. (We need new kids' games)

Try to be a kitty and use the kitty door that goes into the basement storage room. Thankfully the door is far too small for the toddler to get too wedged in it so that yanking her out isn't as horrible as you anticipated.

Very nearly toss your car keys into the toilet. (Better than that phone a year ago!)

P.S. After reading this many of you may be wondering if I have more than 1 toddler in my home. No I do not. And to clarify my toddler is female. I would be entirely mental if she were a he. My prayers go out to all of you mothers of boys. You are surely a gaggle of saints.


Jen said…
Ha ha ha! You can't possibly be talking about your little Addie. After reading that list, I'm starting to think my monster boys are little angels :)

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