Monday, November 25, 2013

Some bread

Last week after ballet class Adelynn and I went to the Great Harvest Bread Company. We haven't been there in a while and it was time to drop in for some good bread. We ate sandwiches on our drive there so that we could treat ourselves to a yummy cookie. Of course Adelynn hoped for a cupcake. In general that's the one baked item she tends to hope for anyplace we visit. We arrived just before the lunch rush. This was both good and bad. Good that we were able to get our bread quickly but bad because the line formed quickly and I felt overly distracted. Obviously I'm always distracted with a three year old. They have a way of keeping your attention elsewhere. The overly eager, possibly pushy, employee was no help either. Usually when I visit the staff are super helpful but patient. The bread choices vary each day and customers like to check out the list and the stacks of bread cooling on shelves behind the counter. I didn't get the standard patience I'm accustomed to when I visit. Pair that with my curious three year old and I was stammering my answers.

Sigh.

I don't like to be seen as an annoying client. Nor do I like to be seen as a crazy "new" mom who can't get it together and order already. I selected some items and the eager staff lady rang it up and was just about short of shoving me out the door before I could continue my order. I rattled off my two other items, much to her annoyance, and realized that Adelynn was reaching for a scone. Before I could get to her she had it in her hands. I would have made it to Adelynn in time but...the elderly lady next to me and the beefy guy next to her would have been floored. Knowing that this cowgirl pregnant lady can't behave that way in public I attempted to get through the crowd but failed. So I added another item to my order.

Double sigh.

Finally sitting down at a table well out of the way of the now large crowd building inside the small store Adelynn and I began to enjoy our treats. She nibbled on her cookie. I sipped my coffee and considered this additional purchase staring back at me. I pulled the scone out of the small paper sleeve. I didn't even read the sign which told me the flavor. It looked like a cranberry white chocolate chip scone. It looked very good. Sure I did sort of want it but with a bag of cookies already it was unnecessary to have more sweets. I didn't want to buy one more thing. I was upset with myself for not keeping a better eye on her. I was upset that I let that staff lady make me feel incompetent. Adelynn watched me considering the scone. It sat on the paper sleeve between us. A perfectly baked scone it was beautiful.


 She looked at me and said "I bought it for you" as she took another bite of her cookie. It was then that I realized being irritated with her was pointless.

 
She's three. She's everything in love. Doing with love. Being nothing but helpful is her focus. My definition of helpful is clearly different. I have to remember that what I expect is not going to be the result. After laughing at her comment I began to change my attitude. I could feel the negative feelings fading. I sipped my coffee watching my girl enjoy her cookie and milk. I tried that scone. Three of the best tasting bites of scone I have ever eaten. Adelynn began to tell me all about her various princess stories. We talked about people walking past our window. Families, moms, dogs, kids, dads, trucks. 15 minutes of observation conversation. Once she was full of cookie we packed up our items put on our coats and stepped outside. She walked a few steps ahead of me peeking in each store window asking questions the whole time. She sees everything positively. Always curious to learn she loves to listen about people. She takes the time to learn about them. She makes it a point to focus on them pondering deeply about what they are doing. That is love. Wanting to learn about others thinking about others how often do I do that? Outside of my family do I take time to think about other people. Who they are? What they do?
 
I think not enough. At three even Adelynn can see how important it is to want to love a stranger. To find a connection with that person. A good lesson perfectly timed before the holiday where many of us take the time to be thankful for the people, the love, the substance in our lives.

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